Thursday, August 5, 2010

Calling on Ceasar

I just emailed Ceasar Milan. Seriously. Desperate times call for desperate measures and emailing a celebrity (to me) is about as desperate as it gets. Do I really think Ceasar is going to email me back? No. But to be honest, I am not sure what else to do.

Remember this post where my wonderful, loving, compassionate husband spent hours in the freezing cold putting up a 6-foot privacy fence to keep the dogs in the yard? Well let's just say that as it stand, the score is around Teeny: 25, Privacy Fence: 0. That tall, white, and apparently not-so-intimidateing barrier is no match for our little Teeny-Houdini. And based on the fact that it was a labor-intensive project in not-so-optimal weather conditions, my sweet husband is about at his wits end with her. We spent thousands of dollars on a fence that she finds a way out of every chance she gets. Annoying much? You bet. Today when she got out Josh found her showing off her beautiful smile (AKA baring her teeth) at one of the neighbors. Lovely. And this comes after we've alread had a ComEd guy, a random lady from the neighborhood, and a police officer show up at our door to return her or ask if she is ours. It's getting a bit embarrassing, not to mention that we're about this close to being fined and/or sued. I'm sure of it. And I'm quite certain that the headline Pastor's Dog Bites Police Officer would not bode well for our church. Or for our marriage for that matter. So let's just not go there, shall we? And my favorite comment from just about every one of them has been something to the effect of her playing and/or running in the street. Awesome.

So what do you do with a dog that keeps running away? I've already told Josh that I love him more than the dog (obviously... as if she even stands a chance although she probably thinks differently!) and so I'd be willing to give her up to make life easier. At this point she is MUCH more of a nuisance than a joy to have as a pet. But how does one go about getting rid of their dog? I'm not just going to take her to the pound... there's enough dogs out there for rescue as it is! And the screening process would be pretty extensive as I would want to ensure that she will be well taken care of.

The truth is, beyond cutting off her back legs (which we discussed, with a degree of seriousness that I am ashamed to admit) we are running out of other possibile solutions. At this point, I'd be inappropriately thrilled if she got hit by a car (To clarify, only to the point of her being mildly injured, therefore teaching her a lesson. And preferably with no bones broken so that the vet bill is not outrageous. Hmmm... that's a lot of stipulations... maybe the car idea is not such a great solution afterall. Scratch that.) Has anyone else ever had this problem (or know someone who did) and if so what did you do? Or do any of you just so happen to live next door to Ceasar Milan and he just so happens to owe you a favor which you will use on your sweet friend Kim so he can come fix her dog's bad behavior? Or better yet, do any of you know of a humane way to remove back legs from a canine? Clearly I am open to all and any kind of suggestion I can get. Otherwise my next post is going to read:

Is anyone interested in adopting a naughty-but-adorable shiba inu??? We don't ask much- she's free or available for the best offer!


  1. My parents German Shepherd used to get out all the time! The only thing we could really do was leash him when he was out and watch him very closely, to make sure he wouldn't get out of his collar too! He always seemed to be better behaved on the leash, even with a fence, since he knew we were watching, but the minute he was off the leash it was no holds bar all over the neighborhood and our neighbors DID take us to court because they had health issues. Perhaps stay out there while she does her business and then make sure she comes right back inside!

  2. We have an underground fence AND a regular fence for escape-artist Lily. One alone would not be enough but together they keep her in. If you are serious about getting rid of her, there is a Shiba Inu rescue that I know would take her.

  3. how bout this: you buy another pair of tap shoes, put all 4 shoes on the dog, that way the second she gets out and is playing in the road you will Hear her!!