Fast Thoughts: Halfway There

We are halfway through our 21 days of Prayer and Fasting, and so I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on my experience thus far. If you want to read about the idea behind fasting, you can check out my previous post here. After some thought, I knew for sure I was going to give up Facebook, social media, and just use my phone for texting and calls (what a concept!), but I wanted to challenge myself a little more, so I added to it. Just for the sake of discipline, and really needing to lean on God (as well as to prepare myself for my connect group this year… more on that later) I decided to give up sugar and processed foods. Natural sugar, such as that in fruits, is okay, but anything with added sugar not so much. I also realized awhile back that our family goes through the drive-thru WAY too much (which becomes apparent when your son asks if we're going to "Chick-Fi-Way" everyday when you pick him up from school), so in an effort to save money and eat better, the kids and I are fasting fast food, whether they like it / know it or not. Here are a few of my observations this far:

• 21 days doesn't seem like much, but man, it's a long time
• I am a much happier person without Facebook. I can't explain it, but there is a newfound freedom  around here! Not feeling like your phone is calling to you at stoplights and first thing when you wake up (pathetic I know… but can you relate?)
• Speaking of freedom, I also feel free of comparing my life to others, having to have my photos "liked," and that sort of thing. My happiness is more based on what the people closest to me think, as it should be!
• I did miss birthday messages this year, but it doesn't even out the above. Those who know me best made sure to call, email, or text.
• I do miss Facebook a little for life's big events. For example, one of my best friends had a baby on my birthday (this is the second time this has happened with one of my best friends… pretty awesome friends I have!) and I would love to see all of the pictures. Thankfully she has texted me a few, and I've already gotten to snuggle that sweet girl. 
• I feel like I have so much time now! My house is cleaner, my kids and I play more, and I even took a nap during the first week! I also feel like a better disciplinarian to my kids since I'm more aware of what they're doing.
• I wish I could say that I've spent less time on my computer, but unfortunately that's not the case. I think I've spent less time on my phone but more time on my laptop. Granted, we've had a couple of really big weekends at TurningPoint and have a ton of events coming up, so it's understandable. But I can't imagine how I would've gotten it done if I was doing this and Facebook. Plus, the kids were home every day this week for snow days. Crazy!
• Although I cheated on my birthday and ate the sundae they brought me for dessert, I have had a craving for birthday cake ever since. It just doesn't feel right without it. Thankfully we will be celebrating my nephew's birthday right after the fast ends!
• I miss chocolate. A lot.
• I've found that a tall glass of ice-cold milk curbs my cravings for chocolate and sweets. I think my belly associates milk with cookies.
• When giving up the drive-thru, I did not take Starbucks into account. In essence, I am fasting Starbucks. Mama wants a latte.
• Larabars are the greatest non-granola granola-type bars ever. They sound gross since they're made primarily from dates, but man are they good! Except the cappuccino flavor… I am warning you in advance. But if you're looking for an all-natural sweet snack, check them out! My favorite is the coconut cream pie flavor!
• The toughest part of my day is when I make the kids a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. I usually lick the knife (when I'm done of course!), but I just can't right now. Those two ingredients smell heavenly together!
• I don't miss bread at all. I'm not sure that I'll really add that back into my diet actually… my belly feels a ton better without it! 
• Although I still haven't fallen in love with cooking, I find that the end-result makes it worth it. I really like knowing what my kids are putting in, and I LOVE sitting around the table together regularly. We've probably had dinner together 5-nights a week here lately. That's a HUGE win!
• My kids will try (and like) just about anything. I'm super proud of them, and it makes me realize that I relied far too heavily on pre-packaged foods before this.
• Checking the weather or logging a run on my phone is a slippery slope… any app just about can suck me in. But it's nice to know that I can leave my phone where it charges when I'm home and not have to carry it around everywhere I go (and lose it).

I know there's more, but this is already a lengthy list, so this will do for now. So far I don't feel like I have read or prayed as much as I would like to get in the habit of doing, although it has increased, so that's a good start. So far I really just feel like I've reclaimed my time with my family, and that in itself is enough to make this whole thing worthwhile. One more cake-free week to go!

For those of you doing this, too…. how's YOUR fast going??

21 Days

Each January, our church starts the year off with 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting. The idea is to give God your first fruits… in other words, fast from something that takes you away from God and replace it with daily prayer. In the Bible you see this a lot, and it's always food-related. Moses did a total fast (no food or water) because he needed to hear from God. Daniel stayed away from certain foods- the delicacies- which is where the Daniel Fast, one of the more commonly practiced ones, came from. Even Jesus fasted, which in my opinion is the biggest testament as to the impact that a season of fasting can have on our lives. The idea is that by "starving" the physical or emotional part of you, you can grow in the spiritual. For example, last year I did the Daniel fast, which basically meant that my diet consisted of fruits and vegetables, nuts, and whole oats. I cut out meat, dairy, sugars, coffee (!!!), and wheat, which turned our diet very close to that of a vegan. I am a girl who loves to eat, and I have an exceptionally big sweet tooth, so three weeks of this was H.A.R.D. But I adhered to the idea that every time my body craved something that was not on the menu, it would be a reminder to pray. The whole concept teaches you to rely heavily on God, because we cannot get through it alone, and I definitely could not do that alone. I can't say that I did it perfectly (especially with my birthday falling smack dab in the middle!), but it definitely stretched me, challenged me, and I did find myself spending a lot more quiet time with God. I felt like I was more aware of every minute of every day, and much more dependent on Him. The majority of the first month of the year was dedicated to HIM, and helped the rest of my year fall into place. We believe in this so much that we do it every year.

This year it did not take me very long to figure out what I needed less of, in order to get more of God. Last year I spent time in prayer, really seeking what to give up, and a food-related fast seemed to be my only answer. I had never tried anything that required that much discipline, and I certainly needed some new-found discipline in my day. And I admittedly feel a bit ashamed now for thinking that doing this type of fast was somehow "more" spiritual than someone who gave up, say, Facebook for a month. I mean, how hard could that be, right??

In true God-fashion (He really does have the best sense of humor), without hardly any thought, all I can hear this year is GIVE UP FACEBOOK! Really, God? Are you sure?? And then to take it one step further I heard, No, I'm not sure. Give up all of the extras on your phone, too.

Here is my mama-confession for the day: I have spent way more time in the past few months on my phone than I have with my kids. Granted, I have not calculated it, but I just feel, well, disconnected. People claim they love Facebook to be more connected, but honestly, having the distraction of my phone and all its fun little apps makes me more disconnected from the people in my own home! I used to love to sit and watch the kids play in the tub. Lately, I use that time to scroll my newsfeed. I used to love to build train-tracks with Jakes. Now that Lilly is pretty good at playing with him, I can sit back and check Instagram or Twitter. My excuse has always been that my Bible and my books are on my phone, but I don't have the discipline to use those and not the other stuff. So starting Friday, for 21 days, my phone is for what it was originally made for… phone calls and texts. I'm going to get back to basics… reading my Bible out of my actual Bible, so that I'm not tempted to look at other things. Waking up in the morning and saying a prayer, rather than checking out who posted what in the mere 8 hours since I went to bed. Being engaged with my kids, participating in their play-time, teaching them new things, and not missing out on them while they're little. How can I expect Jake not to want to look at the phone and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse at the same time when he sees his mama doing the same thing? Sure, I don't really want to see Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (for the umpteenth time… pretty sure I've seen them all by now), but I could just as easily read out of a book at that time. When he sees that as his other option, I can only hope that it looks appealing to him and he develops into a boy who loves to read as much as his daddy does (and his mama tries to). I need this change, and I honestly hope it helps me develop a better self-discipline when it comes to such things in the long-term.

I think sometimes we feel like God is being silent, not listening to our cries and concerns. Here lately, I just think that the world has silenced Him out of my head, and I'm missing the many blessings He gives me daily. When I was deciding whether or not this was the fast I was going to do, I sat down and told my husband and two friends what I was considering. As I was talking, I started to tear up as I told them about how I felt like I was missing my kids, even though I'm with them everyday. When the emotions started to well up, it confirmed this in my heart. He isn't silent… we just need to listen. He'll confirm what we're feeling and answer the cries of our hearts when we humbly go to Him. I may "lose" many voices that were in my world for at least the next three weeks, but I am so thankful that I am going to zero in on the One that matters. 

On a related note, I stumbled across this article last night and found it interesting: Finding Balance in a Wired World. A lot of this definitely struck a chord with me and just confirmed (again) how badly I need to do this! I'd love to hear if this resonates with any of you, too!

And just so you know, yes I will still be blogging (I hope… I'm on a roll you know!) and posting my Project #365Grateful photos to Instagram over this time (although I will not be checking out everyone else's!). 

And for those of you who are interested or are considering a food-related fast, you can check out the post I did about that last year by clicking here.

Fasting Tips

Yes, I know we're only halfway through the 21 days of prayer and fasting, so this does not make me some sort of expert. However, there have been a few things that we've done well and a few things that we have not done well so far, so I thought I would share what we've learned so far. As a disclosure, this post is only about the food-discipline part of the fast and not about the spiritual part, so if you are fasting from particular foods or doing a Daniel fast, some of this may be helpful. If not, it might just be interesting... who knows. Here is what our household is doing to help make the "What can I eat?" part of this process easier:

• Ease into it. If you choose to make a major dietary change during your fast, make sure you start slow. I had read this and thought that I didn't need to do it. I figured, I don't drink that much coffee or caffiene and my diet isn't that bad. Boy was I wrong! By the end of only the second day I was shaky, nauseous, and ended up with a migraine. I felt the headache coming on all day and should've listened to my body and just had a cup of coffee but I thought I was being "tough" instead. As a mom with two young kids, I just ended up in a place where I could hardly care for myself much less them, and had to call Josh to come home and take over so I could go lay down. Yeah, I guess my diet wasn't quite as clean as I thought it was to start with! It's been pretty eye-opening actually as to what I put into my body each day.

• Making exceptions is a slippery-slope. Every year, my birthday falls right smack dab in the middle of the fast. On top of that, this year a trip to New York was also thrown in... think long hours on the road, New York food (pizza and bagels- yum!), and a retirement party and wedding thrown in. I have to be honest and say that I started off very strong. I ate a salad and drank water on the way there, and even made it through the retirement party. By the time my birthday dinner and the wedding reception rolled around, I used the logic that these were "special occassions" and that it would be okay to venture away from the fast. Granted, I do think this is okay from time to time, and the point of fasting is not to be legalistic. But, it did open a door for me to continue to make excuses... I mean, I had already broken my fast, what difference did it make now? Getting back into the swing of things ended up being harder than starting it in the first place, so just keep that in mind.

• Involve the whole family! My kids are still eating sandwiches and chicken nuggets, but their snacks are now made up of fruits and vegetables... and they are loving it! I don't think I realized how much they love produce until I started making it an option for them. To hear Jake practically beg for a carrot and to see Lil get excited when I pull celery out of the fridge has made me realize that it's just as easy as the "convenience" of Goldfish and mini muffins. Again, it's been eye-opening. I know that we'll add chicken, eggs, and a few other essentials back into our diet after this is over, but snacks are staying as is- for me, too! I want them to grow up making healthy choices, so I'm glad this is happening while they're young. For me, it's definitely been good on the waist-line, too!

• Learn to substitute. I can't tell you how many times I have read to use apple sauce in place of oil or bananas instead of butter, etc. Until now, however, I never tried any of these things and it turns out that they work! I also have been sweetening with Stevia instead of sugar, and find that I actually prefer it. For a gal who loves to bake, I think I'll be making some changes when all is said and done.

• Focus on the benefits. Any time you are craving something sweet or fatty, think about the positive changes this has had on your body. I usually have lots of belly aches, but this clean eating has really helped. Every time I want a French fry I think about how they make me feel.

• Don't forget the spiritual aspect. Fasting without praying is just going hungry. I realized when I went astray that not only did I "cheat" a lot during that time, I also barely prayed nor did I crack open my Bible. Yesterday I wanted a bite of Lilly's cookie so badly, and probably would have shared it if I did not just stop and ask God to give me some restraint. To some poeple, this may seem silly, but I honestly could not have resisted if I did not have someone to physically talk to and ask for help. Sure, I can't see God physically, but I know He's there.

• Make it fun! I am not someone who likes to cook. Bake, yes. Cook, no. But, I am finding the challenge of cooking within these parameters oddly exciting, printing off recipes from the Internet, and trying things I never thought I would (cous-cous... really?). Plus, it's really helped clear out our pantry and has made me a disciplined grocery shopper, only getting exactly what I need for recipes rather than whatever looked good at the time.

I hope that you find this encouraging as you go into the second-half of this fast. Twenty-one days does not seem like a long time, nor does it seem like it would be difficult, until you're actually in it. And believe me, it's a long time when you want some chocolate! So if you're like me and need something sweet, I'll share a sweet-treat recipe. Tonight I'm also making flat-bread and soup, so if either of those turn out good, I'll share them, too!

Taken with an iPhone. Excuse the quality!

Banana Oatmeal Cookies

• 1 1/2 cups whole grain oats

• 2 ripe bananas (I actually used ones that were almost green because they're sweeter)
• 1 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• Cinnamon to taste
• 1/4 cup chopped pecans (optional)
• 1/4 cup unsweetened flaked coconut (optional)

Mix everything together, spoon out into cookie-sized portions on a baking sheet, and bake at 350 for 25 minutes.

Enjoy!

Think Fast

Are you like me and need the start of something to actually start something? Perhaps it's because summer is now here or because my maternity leave is coming to an end (tear.... well, lots of them actually), but I have had this enormous urge to reprioritize my life. I feel like it's time to be a better wife, a better mom, a better servant in the community, and a better Christian. I quickly learned how easy it can be to get lazy as I spent many of my maternity leave days planted on the couch, and even though I know that there were good reasons for those days, it helped me see how much time I can waste in a day. And how much more I could be doing if I just stopped complaining that I don't have the time and actually make or find the time. So after much consideration I have decided to go on a fast. At our church, we fast for the first part of the year (21 days of prayer and fasting) so that we can give the first part of our year to God and focus on what it is He is calling us to do. The fast does not have to be food; in fact, most people don't fast food. At that time we are encouraged to give up something that gets in the way of God's calling- a distraction if you will. So I am taking that concept and applying it to the start of the second half of the year.

The other day I realized that I definitely have a TV line-up. I wake up, usually catch the end of Good Morning America, watch Regis and Kelly while recording the Bonnie Hunt Show, fast forward through most of the Bonnie Hunt Show only stopping on the segments that interest me, catch two episodes of Friends, and then the remote lands me on HGTV for the rest of the day. On top of this, I've begun to realize that when Josh gets home from work we tend to eat dinner (usually in front of the tube) and then proceed to watch several recorded programs thus hardly speaking to one another. It's a rut that I could easily live without. So after much careful consideration, I have officially put myself on a TV fast for the entire summer. Crazy I know. The major part of the fast is during the day, when I should be getting things done while the little one naps (or napping myself), but I've determined that if the hubs is watching a program in the evening, I can be in the same room but need to be working on something else as well. So I will sit and read a book (preferably one with some substance and not something like Twilight, which I still refuse to read due to sheer stubbornness) or blog (hence why I've blogged two days in a row! now) or run around the house like a mad woman working on laundry, dishes, or whatever odd jobs I can find to do. We'll see how this goes.

I will say that after three days of this, I.AM.EXHAUSTED. Seriously. I guess I've grown accustomed to feeding the little guy and then finishing my program and spending much more time on the couch than I should. But for the past three days I've been up and on my feet for much of the day, working on something or another while he snoozes. I've tilled the front garden (tilled is a new word for me... I had no idea what that meant until we bought a house with a front garden!), did three loads of laundry, paid the bills, made dinner all three nights (and not just Hamburger Helper either!), blogged (obviously), went for a walk two out of the three days, ran errands, and took Jake swimming just to name a few activities. Yes I feel like Supermom. Yes I need a nap. But yes I am satisfied with what I have accomplished at the end of my day. So with this new "found" time I plan to continue all of the activities mentioned above, plus read my Bible more, work out more (or just work out period), do things for others, and find ways to serve my husband on a daily basis. It's pretty simple really and I will post updates as to how it is going and changing our daily life. And yes, this is a much easier sacrifice now that American Idol is over. :)

Anyway, that is the random unloading of my brain for the evening. I'm off to bed... after I run downstairs to switch the laundry and fold the clothes from the dryer. A Supermom's job is never complete. I hope I gave you something to think about though... what could you be cutting out that is getting in the way of what He wants you to do? Think about it.