Wow, is it Thursday again already? This week has just flown by!
Last week I set out a topic that was not all that deep, but hopefully stirred up something within you. As my husband often teaches, find the thing that ticks you off and that's probably what makes you tick. Translation: if there is an issue in this world that breaks your heart, chances are that you'd serve very passionately to work toward that cause and it would fulfill you deeply. For my husband, TurningPoint Church is the fruit of that... his heart aches constantly for those who do not know the love of Christ and he worked diligently to do something about it. And for me, helping my husband fulfill his dream was what made my cup run over as well. Granted, over time and through hearing story after story of what God's love has meant to someone who previously had not known it, my heart breaks for those who are without God as well, and without that, we could've never survived church planting together. It baffles him that we don't automatically have that big hurt and we don't feel that urge to get everyone into a relationship with Christ, because he had that from day one. And I know others like that, too. But for most people, we go through a selfish period first (what can He do for me?), finally realize at some point the impact that having a relationship with Christ has made on our life, and then we start to want that for other people. I really wish it was the other way around. But I digress... where was I going with this?
Oh yes, how do I want to change the world? That was what I put out there last week to reflect on, and for me, it really boiled down to how do I want to change my world (AKA current situation) right now. You see, over the past year things in my life have been turned upside down in a very good way, but now that the dust is settling, I realize that I have put everyone else ahead of me and am not sure if I'm exactly where I want to be. Does that make sense? And hear me out... I think this was (A) completely necessary for this time in our life, (B) a conscious decision that I happily made and have loved, and (C) something that had to transpire in my own life. Why? Because, well, I spent the first 29 years of my life living very selfishly, and these past few have taught me the importance of putting others first. My problems are not that big, my life is not that bad, and even on my worst day, I am more blessed than a large majority of the world. Yet, I find myself complaining from time to time and a sense of dissatisfaction sets in. Because like all selfish people (meaning... ALL of us), I want MORE for myself. Now that the church is in a healthy state and our life is a little more routine (although we really don't know the meaning of that word!) I think it's time to self-assess and evaluate and find out exactly what that MORE that I want actually is. Do any of us know?
There is a magnet on our refrigerator that says "If you could do anything and know that you could not fail, what would you do?" A couple of weeks ago, Josh asked me if I had an answer to that question, and it was odd that I read it just about everyday. So... I thought about it. And you know what? It turns out that as we stormed through life like a Tazmanian devil for the past three years, my dreams are still there. They're still strong. And the some have even come true! I am married to a man that I adore, who inspires me to be better and do great things, and does many himself on a daily basis. I have two incredible children, who I love more than this life. We have a home, tons of friends, and more love than I could ever ask for. Those dreams have come true. And what's left are those "bucket list" types of accomplishments that are so personal they scare the crap out of me. Some are small... get better at photography, learn to use Photoshop, learn new techniques to decorate cakes. But then (gulp) there are those big ones that you don't even want to tell anyone for fear that you'll fail. And then I think of that magnet, and well, at some point you just have to go for it, right? Because I think the only answer to this dissatisfaction is tackling those things that leave you shaking in your boots. Things like... (deep breath)... write a book, run a sub-four hour marathon, have a successful ministry (although I'm not sure for whom or on what), wear a post-baby bikini... okay, I just made that last one up, but seriously, how scary is that? Like I said... BIG stuff. SCARY stuff. Stuff that could take YEARS to accomplish. Stuff that require tons of work, commitment, time, and dedication. Stuff that leaves me shaking in my boots.
But then I look at my husband and see the satisfaction painted on his face. Since this dream welled up inside of him, there have been days that he thought he would fail, days that were tough, days when there was not enough time or money, and days that we thought we'd kill each other. His dream is BIG. His dream is SCARY. But he went for it!
So... I think the way to fight dissatisfaction is always to be going after these big, scary things that we're afraid to say out loud. If your 9-5 is just what gets you a paycheck right now or if you feel stuck in a rut being a stay-at-home parent, keep in mind that the dreams you had before life got crazy are still there- they might just be hiding underneath loads of laundry, piles of bills, or dirty diapers. But I think they still want to be chased and it's in the chasing that we find contentment. What are some of yours?
Okay, so that was so not where I had originally planned to go with this post, but sometimes you just have to go with it. Now that I've put all of that out there, I guess it's time to get started, right?
Please check out Brittany's thoughts on the topic over at Daughter... Wife... Mom... Sis on this. I think she basically said what I was trying to say before I got off topic and it completely rocked my socks off. She and I are great friends and pastors wives who live WAY too far apart, but I love coming together like this each week. We also hope that you shared this week and will link up below!
As for next week, here is what Brittany has challenged us to reflect on this week:
I'd like for us to meditate on the new Hillsong song...."Cornerstone".....it is just absolutely UH...MAZE.....ING!!!!!!!! You will not be disappointed. It talks about God being our anchor and cornerstone in life! Let's focus on the words of the song and share on what spoke to you most!
Here is the link and the lyrics:
My hope is built on nothing lessthan Jesus' blood and righteousnessI
dare not trust the sweetest frame
but wholly trust in Jesus' name
Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong, in the Savior's love
Through the storm
He is Lord, Lord of All
When darkness seems to hide His faceI
rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
He is Lord, Lord of all
Then He shall come with trumpets sound
Oh, may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
faultless, stand before the throne