Monday, June 11, 2012

Dear Pinterest,

Let me just start by saying that I think you offer a really neat concept... I really do.  I mean, how else would I ever know how unorganized I am or what to do with all of the mason jars I have stored in my pantry?  And even though I think you're great for some people, I just want you to know that you and I will never have a relationship.  It's not you, it's me....

Some people, well, are just born with the gift of craftiness.  Me?  Not so much.  Because of you and all of the fantastic craft ideas you offer, I have more scrapbook paper and acrylic paint that I know what to with, but even more half-finished DIY projects that all look like they were done by a kindergartner.  My mother-in-law may never receive the semi-completed and already very late Mother's Day gift I have been working on due to the fact that I am too frustrated to even finish it.  And while all of these ideas are beautiful and look simple enough on your online pin-boards...

I, for one, just lack the skills required to pull off such things.  In fact, I'm too embarrassed to even post pictures of what I've attempted (much less completed) for fear that my crafty friends may judge me.  Plus, there is a 99% chance that if I attempt a craft involving glue, paint, or sequins, I could find my 9-month-old covered in said materials due to a mischievous 2-year-old who lives here.  You can do better than me... we were just not meant to be.

Also, before you came along, I was perfectly happy with the way the inside of my pantry and bathroom cabinets looked.  Putting my things on the provided shelves seems pretty logical and organized, but then I see things like this and feel, well, inadequate.  Lining my shelves with wallpaper?  Wow... that takes some time and money that I simply do not have!  It's beautiful, yes, but how many people actually even see the inside of my pantry?  Should I be including this on the tour of my home?  Did I miss a memo?

Not to mention the pictures upon pictures of homes that I will never be able to afford.  Do I want my laundry room to look like a place I need to wear a dress and heels to enter?  Sure I do.  Sorta.  Or do I?  See?  I don't even know what I want anymore thanks to you.  I never knew I needed frosted French doors on my closet or striped walls in my mudroom or floor-to-cieling windows in my master bedroom, so thank you for bringing that to my attention.  Last I checked my dream home was the one I was living in, because my family is here inside of it, but apparently my decor is not quite up to par.  And clearly spending hours online finding pictures of said dream home to pin is a means to get me there.  What?  It's not a pay-per-pin thing?  Oh.  Well now I'm just confused.

Lastly, while I find your clever ideas on what to do with my toddler on a summer day fantastic, I realize that all my 2-year-old really needs is to be stripped down naked and set free in the backyard.  It's a "Lord of the Flies" type thing that seems to work with him, and all males I'm sure.  While I appreciate your suggestion that I should spend some more of my time making his lunches into clever shapes and taking him on a nature hike, chances are the most joy he's going to find all day is when he plays in the toilet bowl when I'm not looking.  And oddly enough, I have not seen any of those suggestions on your site. 

Listen, I'm sure you're not all bad and I know a lot of people really enjoy you for lots of reasons, and that's okay by me.  To each his own.  I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings between us because quite frankly, I just don't have the time or energy for you.  Even as I type this letter I am thinking about how messy my living room is and how there are two loads of laundry that have been sitting in baskets for four days now... in a laundry room that is filled with unpacked boxes because we don't have enough storage space in this house.  Or maybe the storage space that I do have is just not organized correctly into brightly painted shoe boxes or something like that.  What I'm really trying to say is that you are exhausting.  I don't have time to pin things that would make my life "easier" but in essence depress me because I don't have the time, talent, or resources to make it happen.  So how about this?  Someday when I find that I have plenty of disposable income, all the time in the world, and have moved into my my perfectly organized dream home decorated by the beautiful crafts that I have made, we can try to get along.  Can we make that work?

Thank you for understanding and for allowing me to distance myself so that I can feel like I'm not a complete failure at life.  If you would like to create an online space for me where I can post pictures of all of my failed attempts at crafting and cooking as well as pictures of my messy house, that might be something I can get in line with.  I think I'd find comfort in networking with others who like me did not get any of those necessary genes.  Until then, I think it's best that we see other people.

Thank you for your time... that you apparently have more of than I do.

A very busy mom

Disclaimer: I have nothing against Pinterest or anyone who uses it.  I do see its merit for some things, but this answers the "why don't you use Pinterest?" question that I'm asked on occasion.  Just FYI!

PS - I probably should have included the sources for these photos but I honestly do not know where they came from.  Ironically, they were swiped from (gasp!) Pinterest since those of us without accounts can still get limited access.


  1. This is hilarious! Good post. I love the button "E" and the wallpapered pantry, and even though I do have the inclination to do such things, I also lack the time and money! Since Claire and I will be on our own for a few nights later this week, I am indulging a fantasy that I'll be able to do all sorts of crafts and home improvement in the time I would otherwise be making dinner or responding to Kate's repeated need to be covered up (hmm, if you would just STAY IN BED, we wouldn't have this problem!). We'll see how it goes. Great to see you on Saturday!

  2. Love this! So true. {fellow non-Pintrest mom}

  3. I will now be sending people to this post when they ask me why I'm not on Pintrest. While I'm not a Mom chasing after kids, I am sorta crafty, but I firmly believe that if I was on Pintrest you would see me in an episode of Hoarding Buried Alive in the very near furture... covered in thread, stuck to some modge-podge, clinging to my pinking sheers. Thank you Kim, Thnak you.

  4. I laughed out loud as I read this, Kim. I love your writing fluid. I've kept the following information secret, but now I'm finally coming out of the closet....I don't do Pinterest, either!
    xoxo, Jill

  5. Who is Pinterest? I have no idea where to find it!...Geez, I must really be busy!!! Lol;))