My heart could burst this morning. Here lately, I have felt the nudge to get on this blog a little bit more often, not just to keep this up as a personal journal about my family's adventures, but to write a little more often about how to do this whole motherhood thing in a way that is God-honoring. How to better pour the Word into our kids, and how to really make it worship. For the longest time I could never really pinpoint where I wanted this to go or what I wanted it to be about (particularly because it was started purely just to keep my family updated on what our family has been up to), and lately I have just felt in my heart that this is the direction I'm supposed to go. The thing is, nobody ever feels worthy enough to try and lead people in this way. I mean, I mess up DAILY. I have times when I feel like I'm knocking it out of the park, routinely getting up early and spending time with God before having to do all of my mommy duties (and honestly therefore doing them better because of a more joyful attitude), and then I have those nights when I lay down and wonder what I did all day. I think I just came to the realization that even if I did get up at 5am every single day, and even if I did read my Bible every single morning, and even if I was the most consistent, self-disciplined woman in the world, I would still have nights like that. And to be honest, no matter how hard I try, I guarantee there are going to be days where I would rather choose (and probably still will) to sit on the couch and watch mindless TV shows instead of actively investing in and leading my children. I just really hope that over time that happens less and less. I want first and foremost what I do at home to matter, and if I can help other moms along the way find the joy in the Lord through their own journey, then I want to be a vehicle to help them, too. Even if I sometimes don't get it perfect myself.
But back to my heart bursting...
Last night I heard Josh and Jacob talking up in Josh's office. This is not a rare thing, as Jake really loves to go sit up there with Daddy and pretends to do work. But this time it sounded different. Jake was speaking with a different rhythm in his voice, and as I walked up the stairs a bit, it sounded like he was... well... preaching. And then I heard him say, "I see a church..."
Jake has rarely sat in "big church" with me to listen to his daddy preach. He is usually back in our (awesome) kids' ministry having his own lesson, but does see glimpses of his sermons from time to time via web videos or non-Sunday morning events, like our volunteer rallies or times of prayer. On our three-year-anniversary, Josh preached a message about the church that he sees, and he used this "I see a church" phrase repeatedly. It would give you chills if you listened to it. But the crazy thing is, Jake wasn't in there, nor do I think that he has ever seen that message, and if he has, it would have been a super short snippet. But on a day when I wonder if what we do at home matters, and if we are leading our children in the right direction, and if they will end up following God and developing a faith of their own, God gave us a moment that I will cherish forever. God let us know loud and clear that it's more about what we do, and how we live our daily lives, than it is about what we tell him to do. We ccan teach him right from wrong all we want, or we can live for Him, so that He will also live to serve and love God by our example. On his daddy's podcast microphone, up in his daddy's office, this little five-year-old boy of ours preached his very first sermon, with no help from either one of us. God can use anyone to speak to us. And thanks to my little boy, my feelings have been confirmed. I don't get it right all the time, but we sure do the best we can.
I hope you enjoy this as much as we have and I hope the link works! I may have to try and upload it differently if it causes any problems:
Click here to listen to Jake's Sermon
And if you want to hear Josh's version, or any of his messages actually, you can download our new handy-dandy TurningPoint Church app! I particularly recommend last weekend's message!