Excuses, Excuses

Recently I discovered that I have a serious condition that I need to find the cure for. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of this, and I'm sure it's not that rare, but it's some sort of ailment that causes me to make excuses. Excusititis maybe? And while I've noticed its symptoms for awhile now, I came to my full-blown diagnosis this past week. Because the thing is, we had about a foot of snow on the ground (which is A LOT around here!) and literally could not leave our house and therefore had absolutely nothing on our schedule, and my brain kept telling me things like this:

• I should probably start posting on my blog again, but I don't have time. I mean, I have to watch the latest episode of Nashville.
• Sure, I bought those apples to snack on, but it's cold and I need comfort food. What's one more cookie anyway?
• The kids are eating a bowl of ice cream so why shouldn't I? I'll eat healthy when it's not a snow day.
• I am at least wearing my workout clothes and I pulled up the video on YouTube, so that counts for something, right? I mean, once I stopped to go help my child find his sock, it was much too inconvenient to finish that video. Surely 6 minutes was enough anyway.
• We can't go anywhere this week so I literally have ALL DAY to find a chance to do my daily Bible reading. 
• I could set my alarm and get up before the kids to get things done, but it's not like I have to be anywhere. Neither do they. We'll just catch up on sleep this week.
• Why should I watch what I eat?... I mean, I am 26 weeks pregnant (and have already gained almost as much weight as I did with Jake in my entire pregnancy!)
• Yes, children, I could play with you, but let me just finish scrolling my Instagram feed. Someone might have posted a new picture in the last seven minutes.

The list goes on and on. If anything, this past week should have been filled with all kinds of productivity! For the amount of time that I spent on Facebook, I probably could have written an actual book! And when I look back on the past seven days, I literally could not tell you a single accomplishment. Not one. We ate A LOT of frozen pizza (among other junk), so I can't even pat myself on the back for getting a home-cooked meal on the table. And I probably broke some sort of record for sitting the couch. To be honest, I'm a little appalled at myself.

But here's the thing that I think we all forget sometimes. This pattern that I've let myself get into, it's just a series of choices. And to clarify, it's a series of making the easy choices, rather than the fruitful ones. Because even though it's the easy choice at the time (like choosing a movie over an exercise video), they are not the choices that make me feel good or benefit me in the long-run. One week later and I feel lazier, more sluggish, definitely heavier, and my brain is crying out for some sort of intelligent activity! Once I slack off in one area, it's so much easier to slack off in others! At the end of this week I should have looked back and seen that I am all caught up on my Bible-in-a-year plan. I should have blogged everyday. My house should sparkle. The numbers on my scale should have at least stayed put if not gone down. I should be exhausted from all of the intentional time I spent with my kiddos. 

But those choices are harder... because they take work. But the older I get, the more I realize that the work is what makes it all worthwhile. It's what makes me a happier, healthier version of myself. It's what motivates me to do even better the next day. It's the most rewarding part of my life.

I'm not sure what inspired me to throw this out here on the good ol' blog, but I felt that I needed to make a confession, to get it out there, and maybe give myself a little accountability. I want to finish strong. I want to make each day count, and I definitely want to reap the rewards of making the hard choices. My husband often advises me to ask the question, "what do I want vs. what do I want right now?" Right now I want to go watch a movie in bed. But in life I want to be wiser, filled with God's Word, a woman of worth, someone who can counsel others and lead my children well. I want to be a healthy and fit, so that I can be here for a long time. I want to hear from God, but in order to do that I need to be talking to Him and pursuing Him on a regular basis. I want to be a spiritual partner for my husband, so that I can better encourage and support Him. Focusing on this list is the only thing that will cure me. So right now, to be honest, I really want a bowl of ice cream and to curl up in my bed with Netflix on the iPad, but I think I'll start tonight by choosing a cup of tea and by Bible. One choice at a time, one day at a time, choosing what I want in the long-run... I think I might just be able to kick this after all.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." [Galatians 6:9]

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." [Hebrews 12:11]