21 Days

Each January, our church starts the year off with 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting. The idea is to give God your first fruits… in other words, fast from something that takes you away from God and replace it with daily prayer. In the Bible you see this a lot, and it's always food-related. Moses did a total fast (no food or water) because he needed to hear from God. Daniel stayed away from certain foods- the delicacies- which is where the Daniel Fast, one of the more commonly practiced ones, came from. Even Jesus fasted, which in my opinion is the biggest testament as to the impact that a season of fasting can have on our lives. The idea is that by "starving" the physical or emotional part of you, you can grow in the spiritual. For example, last year I did the Daniel fast, which basically meant that my diet consisted of fruits and vegetables, nuts, and whole oats. I cut out meat, dairy, sugars, coffee (!!!), and wheat, which turned our diet very close to that of a vegan. I am a girl who loves to eat, and I have an exceptionally big sweet tooth, so three weeks of this was H.A.R.D. But I adhered to the idea that every time my body craved something that was not on the menu, it would be a reminder to pray. The whole concept teaches you to rely heavily on God, because we cannot get through it alone, and I definitely could not do that alone. I can't say that I did it perfectly (especially with my birthday falling smack dab in the middle!), but it definitely stretched me, challenged me, and I did find myself spending a lot more quiet time with God. I felt like I was more aware of every minute of every day, and much more dependent on Him. The majority of the first month of the year was dedicated to HIM, and helped the rest of my year fall into place. We believe in this so much that we do it every year.

This year it did not take me very long to figure out what I needed less of, in order to get more of God. Last year I spent time in prayer, really seeking what to give up, and a food-related fast seemed to be my only answer. I had never tried anything that required that much discipline, and I certainly needed some new-found discipline in my day. And I admittedly feel a bit ashamed now for thinking that doing this type of fast was somehow "more" spiritual than someone who gave up, say, Facebook for a month. I mean, how hard could that be, right??

In true God-fashion (He really does have the best sense of humor), without hardly any thought, all I can hear this year is GIVE UP FACEBOOK! Really, God? Are you sure?? And then to take it one step further I heard, No, I'm not sure. Give up all of the extras on your phone, too.

Here is my mama-confession for the day: I have spent way more time in the past few months on my phone than I have with my kids. Granted, I have not calculated it, but I just feel, well, disconnected. People claim they love Facebook to be more connected, but honestly, having the distraction of my phone and all its fun little apps makes me more disconnected from the people in my own home! I used to love to sit and watch the kids play in the tub. Lately, I use that time to scroll my newsfeed. I used to love to build train-tracks with Jakes. Now that Lilly is pretty good at playing with him, I can sit back and check Instagram or Twitter. My excuse has always been that my Bible and my books are on my phone, but I don't have the discipline to use those and not the other stuff. So starting Friday, for 21 days, my phone is for what it was originally made for… phone calls and texts. I'm going to get back to basics… reading my Bible out of my actual Bible, so that I'm not tempted to look at other things. Waking up in the morning and saying a prayer, rather than checking out who posted what in the mere 8 hours since I went to bed. Being engaged with my kids, participating in their play-time, teaching them new things, and not missing out on them while they're little. How can I expect Jake not to want to look at the phone and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse at the same time when he sees his mama doing the same thing? Sure, I don't really want to see Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (for the umpteenth time… pretty sure I've seen them all by now), but I could just as easily read out of a book at that time. When he sees that as his other option, I can only hope that it looks appealing to him and he develops into a boy who loves to read as much as his daddy does (and his mama tries to). I need this change, and I honestly hope it helps me develop a better self-discipline when it comes to such things in the long-term.

I think sometimes we feel like God is being silent, not listening to our cries and concerns. Here lately, I just think that the world has silenced Him out of my head, and I'm missing the many blessings He gives me daily. When I was deciding whether or not this was the fast I was going to do, I sat down and told my husband and two friends what I was considering. As I was talking, I started to tear up as I told them about how I felt like I was missing my kids, even though I'm with them everyday. When the emotions started to well up, it confirmed this in my heart. He isn't silent… we just need to listen. He'll confirm what we're feeling and answer the cries of our hearts when we humbly go to Him. I may "lose" many voices that were in my world for at least the next three weeks, but I am so thankful that I am going to zero in on the One that matters. 

On a related note, I stumbled across this article last night and found it interesting: Finding Balance in a Wired World. A lot of this definitely struck a chord with me and just confirmed (again) how badly I need to do this! I'd love to hear if this resonates with any of you, too!

And just so you know, yes I will still be blogging (I hope… I'm on a roll you know!) and posting my Project #365Grateful photos to Instagram over this time (although I will not be checking out everyone else's!). 

And for those of you who are interested or are considering a food-related fast, you can check out the post I did about that last year by clicking here.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

This past weekend was one of my best ever since in the "me-time" sense. Once I got married and especially once we had kids, there have not been many days, particularly consecutive days, that have been all about doing things that I want to do. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade my life now for the world and I love being with my family more than anything else, but gosh it feels good to be a little selfish from time to time, right? So on Friday I headed south to Tennessee, did a little shopping (well, a lot of shopping) sans kiddos, and then headed to Gatlinburg for my best friend's bachelorette weekend (more on that to come later). Then on Sunday morning I woke up not-so-bright and very early (after a late night of course!) and drove back to Lexington in the rain to attend Delta Gamma's Founders Day brunch for the University of Kentucky. I was a DG at Tennessee and was so incredibly honored to be asked to be the alumni speaker at UK's event this year. I can still remember thinking how awesome it would be to speak at one of these someday, but I'm not sure that I ever thought it would actually happen. Fast forward to 2012 and a DG alumni from UK began coming to TurningPoint Church and since the theme of this year's event was "Bloom Where You Are Planted," she thought what better than a church planter to speak on the topic?

 

 

After sharing a bit of our church planting story, I expanded on the topic of not just growing, but truly blooming throughout your life. I firmly believe that we should all be committed to growing constantly, always bettering ourselves and striving to do more good in this world and in our own personal lives, but to bloom is to find true happiness. People who "bloom" have that extra little something- that thing that you can't quite put your finger on, but it's an outpouring of joy from the overflow in his or her own life. A person who blooms is living on purpose, has generally found the thing he or she was made to do and is pursuing it passionately. I'd like to think that I am that way, or at least on my way there, and I shared a few things that I think help a person acheive this. And to break it down even further, I compared it to what an actual plant needs not only to survive and grow, but to truly bloom:

1.  The Seed - What are you trying to grow?

In order to expect flowering results, you need to know what you're growing, as in, what do you want the final product to look like? Essentially, if you were to set goals for what your life would look like in one, five, and ten years, then that would be the plant that you would want to cultivate. Throughout the days of your life, any decisions that would take you off of the path that would get you to this end-result place would not be worth pursuing. For example, a farmer planting corn does not take care of that crop the way he'd take care of a tulip, or he would not produce fruit. And a gardner planting tulips would not tend to them the way he would tend to corn or he would never see those beautiful blooms. You have to know what you're growing to know where you're going.

2.  The Soil - What is surrounding that seed?

We've all heard that there is such thing as "good soil" and "bad soil" for gardnening, and the same is true in this case. For a plant, soil is what surrounds, protects, and nourishes the seed, so for us, the soil is essentially who and what we have surrounding and nourishing us. If we surround ourselves with negative nay-sayers who do not encourage us or challenge us to meet our goals, then chances are we will never accomplish them. Likewise, if we surround ourselves with positive people who lift each other up and motivate one another, it's more likely that we'll find success. Find people who are ambitious, loving, encouraging, and want to help you get where you're going in life. Also, if you meet someone who seems to have what you want in your life, whether it be the career, family, or habits that you would like to see in your future, ask him or her to be a mentor. Mentorship is seriously underrated and underutilized in our culture and chances are that this person could probably give you some great advice on how to get to where you want to be if he or she has already walked that path. As my husband oftens says: show me a picture of your inner circle and I'll show you a picture of your future. Have you ever considered that maybe you need to weed your inner circle?

3.  Water - What are you pouring in?

Everyone knows that a plant needs water to grow, just as our own bodies need nourishment. But not only is taking care of our physical bodies important, which it most certainly is, but being aware of what we're putting into our minds is equally as important. Since graduating college I have pretty much been able to choose what it is that I'm going to study on a day-to-day basis. Sure I can (and have) twiddled away my time by perusing Facebook and celebrity gossip magazines, but at the end of the day I realize that there is really no benefit in it. I may have seen someone's awesome vacation photos, but that still doesn't mean that I got to benefit from that at all and probably just envied it if I was really honest. Or I could use that same amount of time to open up books about being a better wife or parent, a better leader, a better friend, or just to read someone that encourages me. Don't get me wrong... I think there is a time and a place for the "fluff" and I love a good fiction book as much as the next person, but we all need some heartier stuff in our lives to really enrich our minds.

4. Sunlight - Everyone needs a little sunshine!

You will never fully "bloom" to your full potential if you don't believe that you will! If you have a dream for your life, even if it's a big, crazy, scary dream, believe that you can do it! If you know what you're growing and you know what you need to do to get there, don't stop until you accomplish what it is that you set out to do! It won't always be easy, and you should not expect it to be, but being positive and getting back up when life knocks you down is essential to see these things happen. And don't keep that sunshine to yourself... be a friend that is a light to others, reminding them that they can get to where they're going, too. Not only will you spread positive energy, but people want to be around that and will be drawn to you, which certainly helps! Be a person that people want to have around and that company will more likely want to hire you or that person will want to ask you on the date or whatever it may be... it's that extra little something that other people notice.

 

I cannot tell you how much fun it was to share this stuff this past weekend to a room full of 200 young women. I never really pegged myself as one who was a great public speaker (that's my husband's job) but I get it now- when you're passionate about what you're talking about, it gets easier. I tried to say the things that I wish I had been told when I was in college and share that. Now whether or not I would have listened is a different story entirely, but I wanted to let them know that they can get where they're wanting to go as long as they keep a big picture in mind and work toward that. It takes time, it takes work (lots of work), it takes endurance, and it takes a "can do" attitude, but nothing is out of reach if we don't allow it to be. I hope you get a little something out of this, too. So get out there, refocus on what lies ahead, and get after it! In a world full of people just going through the motions, take the steps to ensure that you will bloom where you are planted!

FIVE

Even pastors have pastors... have you ever thought about that? And one of my husband's favorite pastors did a sermon series years ago that has always stuck with him. So much, in fact, that he decided to start 2013 by teaching the principles from it to our church. If you're a person who sets goals or makes new year's resolutions, I think these would apply to you. If you're a person who doesn't, I honestly think it still applies to you.

The idea is simple: in order to make your life better and achieve big things, you just have to do five things everyday. You don't have to do them all day; just everyday.  The literal example that he gave was about chopping down a tree. Sure, you can hack and hack at it all day long until you pass out, or you can just take five swings at it everyday, and eventually it will fall. If you chopped at it all day, you'd hate it. If you chopped at it a little bit everyday, you still have the joy of seeing it fall down, and the process of making it happen was not something that was terrible. In this world of instant gratification this is a hard concept to wrap our heads around. People quit diet plans two weeks in because they have not lost any weight. YET. So often we don't do something long enough to get to the YET.

Soooo... in an effort to make my list of five, I first thought about what I would want to have accomplished by the end of 2013... my big goals if you will, so certainly not my everyday five things. Here's my list:

• Read more. I'd like to get through 13 books in 2013. That doesn't sound like much to most people, but I am a ridiculously slow reader and do not make it a priority.
• Learn scripture. I knew many key verses, but I want to add to add to it.
• Run 13 races, including a marathon. The more I say that last part out loud, the more committed I become to it. With this, I'm hoping just to be in better shape overall and finish the year thinner and more fit than I started it.
• Play a key role in building and growing our women's ministry at TurningPoint Church. Our retreat was just the start, and there is so much more that can be done!

Granted, there may be more, but that's all I have off the top of my head. After thinking about these big goals, and just my priorities in general, I was able to see the small everyday things that I could do to work toward them, and a better life in general. So without further ado, these are my FIVE for 2013:

• Daily quiet time for reading, studying the Bible, and praying. This works toward #1 and #2 listed above, but it also just improves my mood when I do it. Being consistent is where I faulter.
• Dedicated time with my kids and husband everyday for at least an hour. This may seem odd since my kdis are home with me most of the time, but that's where the word dedicated comes in. I want to spend more time with them without checking my phone, my email, or while I'm distracted with housework or cooking dinner. They'll only be little for so long. I don't want to miss it. Same goes for Josh. We need to ditch the phones more often when we are hanging out.
• Exercise everyday. This could mean a run or even just some sit-ups while watching TV if I didn't get in a workout that day. And without this, I'll never accomplish the 13 in 13, and certainly not a 26.2 mile race!
• Encourage, pour into, or serve one person everyday. I know some incredibly encouraging and giving people in this world, and I admire them greatly. Even if it's just a text message or a phone call to tell someone I'm thinking about them that day, I think it will help me think of myself less and think of others more. 
• No Facebook or blog browsing during the workday. I'm not sure if a rule like this really goes into the five, but this is essential for me. I get into cyclical bad habits with how much blogs and the Internet suck me in, and right now it's back to a level that I'm not happy with. I do enjoy both things, but they can wait. I often complain that I don't have enough time to blog, work on our long overdue photo books, read (see #1), etc., but when I look back on my day I had logged plenty of time perusing the Internet. I just need to get back to managing my time better like I used to. It's all a matter of habit.

So I think that this about sums it up... sounds easy enough, right? Hopefully I can post periodically throughout the year about how it's going and hopefully those posts will be positive. If you choose to try this method as well, here are some tips that can help after you find your five:

• Prioritize Your Five - put it on your calendar or into your daily schedule!
• Enjoy Your Five - remember, doing a little everyday will help you not get burnt out. You don't have to do your five all day, just a little bit everyday.
• Fight For Your Five - be intentional about keeping your "appointments." If you have daily quiet time scheduled during your kids' nap time and a friend calls to chat right then, just ask if you can call later. Surely you can get back to him or her when you're in the car later or after the kids have gone to bed. 
• Evaluate Your Five - every few weeks, revisit your list and see how you're doing. If you aren't doing some or all of them everyday, don't stress out... just start anew! If you have started some or all of them everyday, track your progress and celebrate the wins! It's all about baby steps.

As soon as the message from this weekend is on the Internet I'll add it, too, since it was absolutely fantastic and worth watching at the start of this new year. Hopefully it will help you accomplish those bigger goals, too!